Book Excerpt: SIMON SAYS by Bryan Thomas Schmidt

I had a chance to read an electronic Advance Review Copy of Bryan Thomas Schmidt’s sci-fi police procedural Simon Says a few weeks back. I’ll let the book description that follows tell you all about the plot and focus on what I loved about the book: the seamless interweaving of three very different genres. The book is part near-future SF (androids that pass as human), part police-procedural (well-researched by the author through several ride-alongs with current KCPD officers), and part comedy (mostly from character interactions, but also near-future pop culture references that include Wolfie Van Halen’s band). It’s not easy to get these three genres in perfect harmony, but Schmidt manages it throughout the book. No one genre overwhelms the others. It’s an ideal read for folks who love books that blend genres. It’s also the start of a new series.

The excerpt that follows the book description is perhaps my favorite scene in the book that doesn’t involve car chases or shoot-outs. It also happens to combine all three elements, and features a guest appearance (of sorts) by my favorite rock band of the 1970s. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!


BOOK DESCRIPTION


Master Detective John Simon is a tough, streetwise fifteen year veteran of the Kansas City Police Department with a healthy disdain for the encroachment of modern technology into his workplace. When his partner is kidnapped after a routine stakeout by thugs with seeming ties to connected, wealthy art dealer Benjamin Ashman, he’s determined to find the truth, but the only witness is a humanoid android named Lucas George. Reluctantly, he takes Lucas along as he begins to investigate and soon finds himself depending more and more on the very technology he so distrusts. Meanwhile, Simon’s precocious teenage daughter begins to teach Lucas how to sound more like a cop using dialogue from famous cop movies. If only he’d use them in the appropriate context.

As the two men dig in deeper, they find themselves and every witness they touch faced with danger from assassins as they begin to uncover a conspiracy that may stretch from the heights of the KCPD itself to South America and beyond. Can they identify the guilty before it’s too late without getting themselves killed in the process?

This exciting new mix of near future science fiction and procedural thriller captures the gritty realism of Michael Connelly’s Bosch, the humor and action of Lethal Weapon, and follows the classic science fiction tradition of Isaac Asimov’s City of Steel. From the editor of the international bestselling phenomenon The Martian by Andy Weir, and the national bestselling author of tales including official entries in The X-Files, Predator, and the Joe Ledger thrillers, comes this action-packed first entry in an exciting new series.


EXCERPT

"Who we looking for first?" Lucas asked from the seat beside him.

"Ashman's ex-protege, Mia McGuire—now one of his chief critics and rivals," Simon said, while waiting at a light in the left turn lane at Broadway.

"I thought when you called she wasn't in the office," Lucas said.

Simon nodded. "Yeah, but her assistant said she was at lunch with Japanese clients, Woo Song." He made the turn on Broadway and began scanning the right side for the restaurant.

"Really? What is that?"

"It's a restaurant, karaoke. I don't think the slip was intentional."

"What's karaoke?"

"People singing along to favorite songs," Simon said. "Crazy human antics. You'll love it."

Lucas pursed his lips and mumbled, "Hmmm."

Simon pulled into a small lot and found one of two open spaces, parking the Charger. Woo Song was to the north. He and Lucas got out and headed for the doors.

"Look, it would help me out if you can distract her clients somehow, while I talk with her," Simon said. "We don't want word spreading around about investigating Ashman any further than it already has."

Lucas nodded as Simon grabbed the door handle of the glass front door. Lights fluttered inside from the dance floor and pounding music leaked through to the street.

"I'll see what I can do," Lucas said.

"They're Japanese," Simon suggested. "These people love robots. Improvise."

Lucas shot him a quizzical look as Simon opened the door and they stepped inside.

The place smelled of Chinese food buffet and exotic spices. Half the tables were empty, but Simon immediately spotted two Asian men dancing and singing to Madonna on the stage. They didn't look like "Material Girls," but they were enthusiastic about making the claim.

Scanning the room, he found a dark-skinned woman in an expensive, tailored business jacket and skirt, sitting with three other Asians at a table on the right side, two away from the stage. There were six plates filled to the brim with Chinese food. The three Asians were eating with chopsticks and laughing. The woman—Mia McGuire, he hoped—was using a fork and watching the performers on the stage with amusement. The woman looked to be in her early forties, about right for a person who'd started with Ashman in her twenties and been pushed out a little over a decade later. Now they were rivals and she had her own company, smaller, but still competitive. Her lips were full, round, her eyes intense, focused, very blue, and she wore just enough makeup to highlight her features well but not seem obvious. She was important and she dressed and acted like it.

As Simon headed for the table, Lucas stood to one side, watching the stage with curiosity. The two Asians performing weren't awful as karaoke goes, and Simon had to admit he loathed karaoke, especially when it involved people with voices like cats serenading an alley. The Asians wore business suits and ties, like their three companions, but that didn't stop them from awkwardly moving enthusiastically to the rhythms in some kind of attempt at real choreography. Their voices were far better than their moves.

Simon stopped beside the table and smiled. "Mia McGuire?"

She looked up, surprised. "Yeah. Who's asking?"

Simon was reluctant to flash her a badge in front of her clients. "I need to talk with you about something important."

She frowned. "This is important. I'm with clients." She panned the table with her hand.

"Yes, but official business," he said, emphasizing the third word and locking his eyes on hers, trying to get the message through.

"Official like what? You an agent or something?" She shifted nervously in her chair, looking at the Japanese, who had quickly gone back to watching their friends and ignoring Simon as soon as they realized he wasn't talking to them.

"Yeah, something," Simon said.

The Madonna song ended, and the three Japanese applauded their friends vociferously and stood, bantering in Japanese—obviously deciding who would be next—as the others stepped down from the platform and came back to the table.

McGuire had kept her stare focused on Simon, even as she put on her best smile and joined the applause from her clients and others at nearby tables. "This isn't a good time," she said through clenched teeth.

Before any of McGuire's group could get to the stage, Simon heard the familiar strains of Styx and turned to see Lucas standing before the microphone. The Japanese businessmen brightened with recognition and began conversing, then Lucas launched into:

"Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, Mata au hi made... Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, Himitsu wo shiri tai..."

The android’s Japanese sounded perfect, incredibly so. Then he did the best Robot Dance Simon had ever seen. The Japanese businessmen enthusiastically raced to the stage to cheer him on and Simon found himself alone with McGuire.

He badged her. "It's about Benjamin Ashman."

McGuire scowled at the name then looked toward the stage and her clients. She sighed. "Can we make it quick?" Her gaze found his again with a look that said: not in front of the clients, please.

Lucas launched into the verse now with the Japanese handling the echoes: "You're wondering who I am (secret secret I've got a secret)..."

Simon nodded and sat down beside her in one of the vacated chairs. "You were Ashman's protégé, yes?"

"You clearly know that or you wouldn't be here," McGuire said. "My guess is we have about three minutes. Is that really the stuff you want to ask me?"

Simon grunted, accepting the challenge. "In your time with Ashman, did he ever involve you or himself in anything that pushed boundaries?"

McGuire raised a brow. "That's what his business is about—pushing boundaries, getting there first."

Simon clarified, "Legally."

She chuckled. "Ah, of course." She thought a moment. "Actually, he was pretty clean. In fact, shockingly so for one so rich and powerful in my experience. Didn't even make lewd comments, hit on me—like the others did. In fact, he called them out for it a time or two."

"Really?" Simon knew that wasn't always the case, even in the 21st Century, despite all the progress society had supposedly made. "So, he wouldn't be involved in illegal nanochips, data, forged art..."

McGuire turned back from the stage, stiffening and straightening in her chair. "Are you saying he is?" She seemed totally shocked at the idea.

"I'm saying someone might be," Simon said.

"At Ashman Industries?" she asked, clarifying.

Simon nodded.

She shook her head. "Wow. That would blow my mind if it's Benjamin. I mean, I am pissed at the guy for the way I got tossed aside and written off, and he's a tough competitor, doesn't make it easy for me going out on my own like this, but—" She paused, thinking a moment.

Simon waited, not wanting to interrupt her and break her train of thought.

Lucas and the Japanese hit the chorus now: "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo, Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo..."

"You know, most of it was Paul," she said then.

"Paul Paulsen?"

She nodded, her eyes darkening at the mention of his name, flashing a bit of anger. "Yeah, he's the one who really pushed me out. Ashman hired him out of college like me. Supposed to be his next big protégé."

"Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto, For doing the jobs that nobody wants to. And thank you very much, Mr. Roboto. For helping me escape just when I needed to..." Lucas sang.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," McGuire's clients sang in pronounced accents. "I want to thank you, please, thank you..."

"But Paul hated me from day one," McGuire continued. "Hated women, I think. But he resented me for sure, and I thought he was a cocky, smartass kid who should have respected my position and accomplishments and let me teach him. It started that way, too. Ashman encouraged it." She took a sip of her soda and leaned back in her chair. "But Paul worked on him, earned his trust, his ear, had a couple of impressive successes that didn't involve me, showed me up once or twice—and that was it. I was out, he was in."

"So he replaced you?"

"In Benjamin's favor, yes...and then eventually in my job, too," she agreed. "I wasn't asked to leave. I felt I had no choice. I wasn't going anywhere in Ashman's company anymore, you know? And I had ambitions, goals...I was almost as good at what Benjamin does as he was, and everyone knew it. Maybe Paul targeted me because of it..." Her voice trailed off as she looked down, lost in sad memories.

Simon watched Lucas dance for a minute, amazed by the android's well designed choreography. They'd heard the song on the radio the other day but where did he get that?

"The problem's plain to see: Too much technology."

"Your friend isn't bad," McGuire said with a chuckle.

Simon nodded. "Yeah, I had no idea."

"My clients love it," she said and sounded pleased.

"So if I look at illegal activities, you think I should start with Paulsen?" Simon asked, getting back to business as the song entered repeated choruses, winding toward the end.

"Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo..."

"Yeah, I would," she said, sounding sad. "Hell, for all I know he could have corrupted Benjamin by now. We don't see each other or interact much and haven't for years now. But I know who he used to be, and the old Ashman wouldn't risk his hard work with such crap. But Paulsen...yeah, he's capable of anything."

She grew silent then, watching her clients dance and cheer as Lucas finished the song. Then they all gave him high fives as the android stepped down from the stage.

"Purrfect," Simon heard one of them yell.

Lucas thanked them as they followed him back toward their table and McGuire. Simon stood.

"Get what you needed?" Lucas said softly as he stopped beside his partner.

Simon laughed. "Yeah, for now."

The Japanese men were chattering and circling round Lucas like he was a celebrity.

Lucas shrugged. "You wanted them distracted."

"Where'd you learn that dance?" Simon asked.

"The Robot? It's in my programming," Lucas said sotto voce.

Simon thought it was a joke but couldn't tell for sure. "Really?"

Lucas winked.


If you enjoyed or were intrigued by that excerpt, here’s a look at the cover to Simon Says. Of course, the book is available via all online outlets, including Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Simon Says cover.jpeg