BEYOND THE SUN - Interview

Every now and then I like to feature Kickstarter projects that I’m particularly interested in, and more often than not those projects involve short story anthologies. Here’s the latest, a chat with frequent guest Bryan Thomas Schmidt.

Beyond The Sun

Beyond The Sun

Bryan Thomas Schmidt is an author and editor of adult and children’s speculative fiction. His debut novel, The Worker Prince (2011) received Honorable Mention on Barnes & Noble Book Club’s Year’s Best Science Fiction Releases for 2011. A sequel The Returning followed in 2012 and The Exodus will appear in 2013, completing the space opera Saga Of Davi Rhii. His first children’s books, 102 More Hilarious Dinosaur Books For Kids (ebook only) and Abraham Lincoln: Dinosaur Hunter- Lost In A Land Of Legends (forthcoming) appeared from Delabarre Publishing in 2012.  His short stories have appeared in magazines, anthologies and online. He edited the anthology Space Battles: Full Throttle Space Tales #6 (2012) and is working on Beyond The Sun,forthcoming. He hosts #sffwrtcht (Science Fiction & Fantasy Writer’s Chat) Wednesdays at 9 pm ET on Twitter and is an affiliate member of the SFWA.


ANTHONY: So Space Battles: Full Throttle Space Tales #6 seems to have gotten good reviews and had steady sales, and now you’re raising backers for another anthology, Beyond The Sun. Tell us how that came about?

BRYAN: Since I was a kid, I’ve been fascinated by the Universe and space travel, the idea that one day humans could go out and discover what’s out there. An anthology on space colonization seemed a natural extension of that. And with the recent downsizing of NASA and death of Neil Armstrong, I found myself remembering all the times I spent dreaming about other planets and worlds. As an adult, I’ve travelled the world, exploring other cultures, and in large part, it comes from that same drive to discover the other, the different, the new. Beyond that though, I hear about young people, particularly boys, not being into reading like they used to be, and I want to create stories kids like me would enjoy. Additionally, I wanted to create something teachers and parents might use to encourage that urge to discover in younger generations. Lastly, I love working with other writers, and I saw a chance to bring pros and newcomers together to fulfill this in a way that benefits all of us.

ANTHONY: Well, you do have some big names involved.

BRYAN: I do. Robert Silverberg gave me an old story that has not appeared much which is really good, of course. Mike Resnick is a good friend and headlined Space Battles. He’s done so much to help me, my only way to return that is to give him work, and luckily, he gladly accepts.  Nancy Kress is a new friend but she’s explored colonialism a lot in her work so she’s a perfect fit. All of these, of course, are Hugo and Nebula winners on multiple occasions. But I also have a fourth headliner who’s won the same awards and she’ll be joining us if we get the funding.

ANTHONY: Some of the lesser names, you might call them, are not unknown either: Cat Rambo, Jennifer Brozek, Jason Sanford…

BRYAN: Yeah, all of whom have become friends and are people whose work I admire. Joining them are Analog regulars Brad R. Torgersen (Hugo/Nebula nominee this year) and Jamie Todd Rubin, and Sanford’s Interzone fellow Matthew Cook, along with novelists Jean Johnson and Erin Hoffman.

ANTHONY: And then there’s the little people…like me.

BRYAN: Well, you’re not unknown, just not as much for your writing yet, but that will come. You were in Space Battles, and so were several others. But as people may know from SFFWRTCHT (Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chat), encouraging and helping others, especially fellow writers, is something I love to do. And to be in an anthology with people of this caliber and make pro or semi-pro rates is a huge opportunity. I like helping others achieve their dreams, but the advantage here is that, in the process, they help me achieve mine, which is a cool parallel to have. At the same time, I have to make sure the anthology is the best it can be, so I’ve invited twenty writers to vie for thirteen spots alongside the headliners.

ANTHONY: You mentioned that Silverberg gave you a reprint and I know there are a couple of others, but the plan is mostly for brand new stories, right?

BRYAN: Yes, Resnick, Kress and our fourth headliner all plan to write new stories. Resnick’s promised to use his African knowledge for it, in fact. Those Hugo winning stories are amongst my favorites of his. I have reprints from Silverberg, Jason Sanford, and Autumn Rachel Dryden, whose story, “Respite,” is one of the inspirations for this anthology. Hers and Jason’s appeared previously in early issues of IGMS and it’s a privilege to reintroduce them to people now.

ANTHONY: Like Space Battles, there wasn’t an open call for submissions. Is that going to be your modus operandi? Why not invite the public?

BRYAN: Space Battles wound up with a far more open call than this but I have novels to write and promote, freelance editing clients to please and 7 anthology projects in the works. I just can’t read that much slush and it’s hard to find someone whose sensibilities are identical enough that you can let them do it for you. I do invite new people with every project and I do look for people I’d like to work with and haven’t. But I have to face certain time limits realistically and so, at this time, an open call just doesn’t make sense. I’m not opposed to it in general though.

ANTHONY: Why Kickstarter as opposed to finding a publisher?

BRYAN: One, anthologies are a hard sale right now. Two, KS actually provides me a chance to use more up and coming writers. A publisher would want 10 headline names. Three, I get more creative freedom. Four, I can raise enough to pay far higher rates to artists and writers than a press would allow me, unless a big NY trade house came aboard, and I am still proving myself, so trusting me with a project like this, when they do so few, is a hard sell.

ANTHONY: How hard is putting a Kickstarter together?

BRYAN:  Not too bad but you do need to do your research. The hardest part is that being unemployed since May 2010 and surviving on freelance, I just don’t have much money for videos and promotion. But I found a woman who did a great video for $15 provided I did a voice over, gave her a concept and provided some images. And Mitch Bentley chipped in on cover mock ups as well as other artists. Plus the writers are allowing me to tease their stories to backers when we reach certain levels, so that will also be great to show people that we really will have not just variety but quality.

ANTHONY: Well, the headliner’s names kind of speak for themselves, right?

BRYAN: Yes, but even diehard fans may not love every story an author writes, and the new talent is a question mark for some. Sharing Jason and Autumn’s stories allows me to show stories from all three writing tiers.

ANTHONY: Very cool. Well, I’m going to write the best story I can in the hopes of making one of those open spots, but either way, I can’t wait to see it.

BRYAN: Thanks, me, too. I’m very excited. I loved the diversity I got from my writers for Space Battles, and I can’t wait to see what they’ll do with this concept.

GIBSON TWIST, Author - Interview

Concluding Canada Week here, today we ramble on with Gibson Twist, the creator of one of my favorite webcomics, PICTURES OF YOU. POI is part coming-of-age story, part relationship drama, part college comedy, and the whole is more than the sum of its parts.

Gibson Twist

Gibson Twist

Gibson Twist claims to be a fictional entity. In reality, he writes several other webcomics in addition to PICTURES OF YOU, and yet somehow manages to find time for his wife and his cat.

ANTHONY: Welcome to Rambling On, Gibson. How’s things?

GIBSON: Things are ridiculously good. It’s a bit shocking how good. I know it’s de rigueur for people to be unappreciated as they roll a rock uphill, but honestly, I’m riding one of those life-highs lately, and I’m not so much of a selfish asshole not to appreciate that. People love and support what I do, solid home life with someone who challenges and excites me. If it were cool to be happy, I’d be the Fonz over here.

ANTHONY: So tell me a little bit about the genesis of PICTURES OF YOU. Why this story, and these characters?

GIBSON: The first inklings of what would become Pictures of You began during a hangover. It was an earned hangover, I’ll say that. It came after a couple days spent with some old friends, most of us hadn’t seen or spent any time together in years, and we hadn’t all parted on the greatest terms, but all the water was under the bridge and we were enjoying each other and remembering good times, remembering why we liked each other in the first place. Someone tried to climb over the table and ended up in someone’s lap, then we were asked to leave. It was that kind of night.

While I was nursing my hangover with wine, white zinfandel to be exact, I started writing down a bunch of the more memorable times I’d spent with that group, and the others who couldn’t make it. It turned into sort of a project, to document it all. The more I wrote down, the more I realized how much I couldn’t remember, why people had done certain things, who was where when what was destroyed. There were also things that, out of context, made some of us look like bigger assholes than we were, and things where the context took too much time to explain.

I still wanted to tell the story, so I decided to fictionalize the whole thing, from the ground up. I threw everyone into a blender and started building characters, and shaped those characters to the story that began emerging, and as I grew to understand the characters, the story changed as well. They are compossible, as any good story/character realization should be, I suppose.

No one character is a depiction of a real person, but of the collection of them is meant to depict the spirit of the group of people that inspired the story. The story too is just a reflection of what happened in those years, fictionalized to make for a good soap opera.


ANTHONY: I get so caught up in the story that I occasionally forget you started this with a framing device, Peter looking back on the past. So do you have a planned end-point, and an idea of when you’re going to get to that point? Or is the series more open-ended?

GIBSON: The series has a definite end-point, and it’s where everything is going. I spent years drafting the plot, and despite a few variations here and there, the storyline is fairly well set. At the risk of a spoiler, the scene in the Prologue does get reached and even surpassed in the regular story.

ANTHONY: PICTURES is clearly your baby — you write it and you draw the majority of it. What’s your creative process like? Do you fully script before you start the art?

GIBSON: I like to have stories plotted quite deeply before I begin crafting the final product, but the length of Pictures of You didn’t really allow that as much as I’d like. The basic skeleton of the story is there, and I plot more deeply on each book before I sit down to script.

I script each book in full before I begin, with the exception of Book Three for which I’d done a large amount of art before scripting the entire volume. Oh, and Book Four’s final chapter is unfinished, but I know how it wraps up. I do rewrite a lot as I go, most chapters get at least a quick retouch before I begin penciling. Sometimes I’m revising pages as I’m drawing them, and it’s not uncommon for me to rework dialogue during the lettering process. If I have a process, and I might not, it’s to start with the big picture and refine details on an increasingly smaller level as I come to them.

I’m already working on the script to Book Five in my head.

ANTHONY: Once you start a page, what is that process like, from drafting through final art?

GIBSON: Well, the first thing I do when I start a page is to ignore it. I’m no good with blank pages, they are my enemy. Almost invariably, the next step is draw a lot of terrible things that I erase. That is followed by me putting on some music or video for background, and I pencil in probably finer detail than most. This is largely due to the fact that I’m not strong as an artist, and it’s still a struggle for me to produce lines I like. And of course the inks, which are strangely my favourite part of the art.

The pencils and finishes are done on actual paper with actual pencils and actual ink, which seems to be a dying process, especially among webcomickers. I will say I notice people of a certain age are more likely to use paper and ink while people under that certain age are more likely to use pixels. I’ll be honest, while I enjoy paper, I don’t work digitally because computers scare me, and I can’t figure out how make smooth lines with them.

I do colour and letter digitally, which is a fairly painless process, and I’m able to clean up ink blunders there as well, much more easily than with correction fluid or the like. More recently, I’ve been able to go back digitally and clean up let’s just call it bad art from earlier pages, and make them look nicer.

I think the only really interesting or unique thing that I do is that I flip the page around in circles as I draw, to get angles and curves and so on. And I only know this is unique because my wife looks at me weird whenever she sees me do it, and then she pretends it’s not weird. And what I’ve noticed since then is that I flip it clockwise. I couldn’t even begin to tell you why, and I’m pretty sure it’s better for me not to know.

Michelle Cutter

Michelle Cutter

ANTHONY: What tools do you favor for drawing, coloring, etc.?

GIBSON: I draw on large board, specifically Strathmore 11×17 Comic Pages and I scream myself blue in the face begging people more talented than I to do the same. It allows me to draw bigger, with more space to work, and then reduce later. I have yet to meet the artist whose work doesn’t look better reduced. It pulls all the lines together and makes a lot of mistakes disappear. But yes, 11×17 paper.

I work with non-photo blue pencil leads. Currently, I’m using Uniball’s new “soft blue” mechanical 0.5 leads, which are a dream even if they break more easily and I go through them faster. Before that, I used Pentel’s blue leads, which worked but were not technically non-photo, and I had to scan lighter, which did no favours for the line quality. Before that, for years, I used Prismacolor Col-Erase NPB pencils. I got a great line from them, but was forever sharpening, sharpening, sharpening.

My inking has been done since day one with Koh-i-nor rapidographs and Black India ink (which is not india ink) for paper and film, which I adore. I’ve never been able to ink particularly well with anything else. Before Pictures of You, I tried working with disposable pens, which dried out too quickly or just didn’t give a nice line. I’m useless with brushes or brush pens.

Colours and letters are all done with GiMP, which is a free imaging program. I just can’t afford the big stuff, and I won’t use pirated software.

Would it be strange to admit I’m picky about my rulers? I use the clear plastic ones with the beveled edge. They let me see the page while I use them, and the bevel lets me ink straight lines. I hope someone out there finds that information useful because I feel like an amazing nerd talking about it.

ANTHONY: When PICTURES started out, it was black and white. What brought on the shift to full color, and how did that change your creative process if at all?

GIBSON: Colour came about after doing a little thank you/incentive thing, and I found I was a little better at it than I thought, and I was happy with how it turned out, so I tried colouring some older pages just for kicks, and I was pretty happy with that too. I knew comics with colour did better at drawing audiences, too, so there was also a bit of marketing involved in the decision.

My inking has become cleaner since switching to colour, which is a result of having to colour in all sorts of sloppy hatch marks and broken lines, and I think that’s also moved me into refining the lines that I make, and grow the quality of my pencils as well.

Truthfully, colour made me like the visuals of Pictures of You a lot more. I thought, and still think, it brought a new kind of life to it. I got a lot of static from people, purists, I guess, when I switched to colour, but the simple fact is that my numbers tripled within a few months after. So what are you gonna do about that?

ANTHONY: Between books you run “Snapshot” segments with other artists. How does that process work?

GIBSON: Pretty simply, I ask friends of mine who are fans of the comic, whose work I enjoy, if they want to do some pages for fun. I ask them what characters they’d like to draw and if they have any preference for subject or theme, then I write them a script based on that. I try to find a range of styles, from cartoony to manga, and in one case a photo comic from one of the few people I’ve seen do photo comics really well. It was serendipitous that he bore a striking resemblance to the main character.

It’s fun for me, because I really enjoy working with other artists and don’t get to do it enough. I hope they have fun too. It seems like they do, most of them. Maybe they’re too polite to tell me I’m horrible to work with.

We’re reducing the number of guest strips for next time to three or maybe four shorter pieces. Two artists have already signed on and I’m in love with both of their work. Number three is still a toss-up, mostly on whomever is first to say yes.

ANTHONY: PICTURES is divided into books, with the books divided into smaller arcs. Have you ever started an arc, or a book, and realized it was going someplace different from where you intended? I guess what I’m asking is the classic “have the characters ever taken over and moved the story in a different direction?”

GIBSON: This happened a number of times in Book Three, which might have been inevitable considering its length. Everything ends up more or less the way I intended. The important things, at least, but things happened in different orders, some things had to be scrapped. The relationship between Peter and Kara, for one, was supposed to play out differently, in different chronology, but as I wrote other things and other characters’ storylines, it made more sense to happen the way it has. There was supposed to be more with Devon and Melanie as well, but had to be truncated, and the Devon storyline was changed as a result.

I wouldn’t say it’s ever happened that a character speaks to me, but sometimes the plotted story doesn’t mesh with a character’s personality, and the writing changes to be more true to them. I’m not someone who believes characters speak, but act and react the way they should to what’s happening, and that’s not always the way I planned it. It’s the balance of telling the story you want to tell and representing fully realized characters in their own realistic fashion.

ANTHONY: Peter is clearly the narrator and focal point of the series. Other than him, I think my favorite characters are Andy, Melanie and Wylie (who I wish would get a “front burner” storyline, honestly). Overall, which characters have garnered the biggest response from readers? Who gets the most “fan mail?”

Wiley Ryan

Wiley Ryan

GIBSON: Michelle is clearly the fan favourite. She seems to resonate with both the female readers for being strong yet vulnerable, and with male readers for being good looking and kicking ass. Kara gets a lot of love too, far more so now than in the first couple books when no one seemed to like her much. The most curious and divided reaction is to Mulligan, of course. Lots of hate, a fair amount of love, no one seems to be luke warm about him.

Patrick and Wiley are also up there, at least for the cooing that happens in the comments section. Wiley definitely comes to the forefront in the upcoming books. I get a lot of messages asking what happens to Wiley, there seems to be a consensus that something bad happens to him, but I try to tell people, something bad happens to all of them. Well, except one, but I’m not telling who.

I suspect reactions will change as the books go forward and different characters are brought to the front of the story. Sam and Lauren, for instance, will certainly be given more of their due in the next few books.

ANTHONY: PICTURES isn’t your only webcomic. Tell us about some of the other projects you’ve got going on.

GIBSON: Well, there’s Our Time in Eden with artist Ben Steeves that we’ve been working on for years. I started writing the novel on which it’s based in 1996, I adapted the comic script in 2004, and we started working on the art for the comic in 2006. It’s been incredibly rewarding working with Ben on it, he’s brought a vision to it I never could.

The only other project that’s in development with an artist attached at the moment is Little Earthquakes with Rori making the pictures. This is one we’ve been working on for a while as well, the first version of the plot hit paper in late 2008. I can’t say a lot about it, but it’s going to rival, perhaps surpass Our Time in Eden for darkness. We don’t have any kind of release date for this, as we’re going to shop it around before we post it as a webcomic.

I have a wide range of projects sitting on my Future Projects list, and I’ve been itching to do some more prose work in the near future. It’s hard to say which ones will get worked on first, depends on what artists want to work with me and take a shine to which projects.

There’ve been a couple false starts in the last couple years, projects I began working on with artists who, for one reason or another, had to bail. Which is cool. Finding a collaborator is never easy. They have other priorities, they lose interest in the story, they find other stories, life steps up and demands time. I keep at it, though, there are too many artists with whom I want to work to stop, and too many stories untold.

ANTHONY: And my usual final question: What is your favorite book, and what would you say to someone who hasn’t read it to convince them that they should?

GIBSON: Favourite book of all time? Comic or prose?

Prose, I’d have to say High Fidelity by Nick Hornby. Fantastic read, no one shouldn’t read this. It’s the purest insight I’ve read into the mind of men of a certain age, which is good for men because it’s a mirror into which they can nod, and for women because we’re not as simple as sitcoms would have you believe. The movie was very well done and I watch it often, but the book goes deeper and tells more story than a movie ever could. The irony is that every time I’m asked what my favourite book/comic/movie/album is, I reenact a scene from this book.

Comic, that’s a tough one. If I can include a whole series, Jaime Hernandez’s Love and Rockets would win the prize. Hugely influential on my work, and just enjoyable no matter how many times I read it. If I have to pick a single volume, though, I’d probably go with Jeff Smith’s Bone. It’s hard to choose, since there are so many fantastic books out there that don’t get enough time in the spotlight. Joe Sacco, Evan Dorkin, Eddie Campbell, Chris Thompson, Marjane Satrapi…they all make brilliant comics that I love every time I read them.

You can find Gibson on Twitter as @GibsonTwist.  In addition to PICTURES OF YOU, you can also find OUR TIME IN EDENon the net. Gibson also has a Kickstarter running at the moment to get PICTURES into print form finally. Take a look at it, and consider helping bring one of my favorite webcomics to bookstores.

FIRESIDE - Interview

This is a week of posts related to various Kickstarter projects I’ve backed and hope you will too. None of them are my own (currently, I’ve got nothing I think I should be doing a Kickstarter for), but all of these are important to me for one reason or another. Some of them are projects of friends. Some of them are just projects I think are cool. Most of them are both.

Today’s focus is on the recently-successfully-concluded Kickstarter for issue # 2 of FIRESIDE magazine. I backed the first issue, and ended up as a main character in Christie Yant’s story “Temperance,” which opens with my character concluding the worst bender of his life by puking into an open grave … during a funeral.  For issue #2 I chose the reward to be a main character in Damien W. Grintalis’ story, still unnamed, and I can’t wait to see what horrible things she’s going to do to “me.”

Here’s Fireside editor/publisher Brian White, talking about plans for #2 and beyond:

ANTHONY: What is the main concept for Fireside?

 BRIAN: Fireside has two goals: to publish great storytelling regardless of genre and to pay our writers and artists well.

The idea for Fireside grew out of a stew of information and ideas that had been simmering in the back of my brain for about a year, mostly coming out of conversations and ideas I’d been seeing on Twitter and blogs that I follow: about pay for writers, about new business models for publishing, and about the health of short fiction. I’d been starting to see a lot of talk about crowdfunding, especially Kickstarter, and one day I realized: I can publish a magazine. Funding even the first issue of Fireside wasn’t something I could have done out of my own pocket. But crowdfunding allowed me to do two things: eliminate a financial risk for myself, and gauge if there was genuine interest in what I wanted to do. I didn’t have the money, but I could invest my time, sweat, and enthusiasm in the magazine.

So once I realized I could do this, I quickly decided I wanted to do something like what Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio did with the anthology “Stories”: find good story-driven fiction, but not focused on a particular genre. I also knew I wanted to try publishing a comic in each issue along with short stories, because I’ve just started reading comics in the past few years, and I love them and wanted to experiment with that.

In the introduction to “Stories,” Gaiman writes of his response to a question about what quote he would want inscribed on the wall of the kids’ section in a public library. He captured the reason why we love good stories in his response:

“I’m not sure I’d put a quote up, if it was me, and I had a library wall to deface. I think I’d just remind people of the power of stories, of why they exist in the first place. I’d put up the four words that anyone telling a story wants to hear. The ones that show it’s working, and that pages will be turned:

“… and then what happened?” “

ANTHONY: What can readers expect in your first issue and beyond?
BRIAN: Each issue will have four short stories of between 2,000 and 4,000 words and one comic. I’m hoping that each issue will be very different in terms of the mix of genres, and therefore each will be a little surprising.

ANTHONY: What is Fireside’s policy on open submissions from authors?
BRIAN: Because of the nature of Kickstarter and because I was starting from scratch, the first two issues of Fireside were invitation-only. By having writers and artists lined up, I was able to offer a lot of rewards tied to each contributor.

However, we do want to start taking submissions. Starting with Issue Three, at least one slot will be held for submitted short stories. I’m not sure what form this will take, but it will probably be a limited window of some kind, both because I am totally new at dealing with submissions, and because we are quarterly and will have only the one slot per issue for now, I don’t think rolling submissions make a lot of sense.

ANTHONY: What made you choose Kickstarter for your fundraising efforts, as opposed to IndieGoGo or any of the other tools out there?
BRIAN: Mainly it was because Kickstarter is the most recognizable of the options, and because more people have heard of it, I thought they’d be more comfortable giving it their credit card information.

ANTHONY: Looking back, is there anything you’d change about your campaign?
BRIAN: The only thing that is apparent right away is that I think we overpriced a couple rewards that didn’t really have any takers, but other than that, I think things went really well. For Issue Two we experimented with a three-week campaign instead of the traditional 30 days, and it worked out great, and cut out one of the slow middle weeks, which are kind of nerve-racking anyway because it seems like interest has died out.

ANTHONY: How can people who missed out on the Kickstarter subscribe/become supporters of Fireside?
BRIAN: Fireside is for sale in several places, and we have subscriptions through Weightless Books. Links to all of those options are available at


I spend a lot of time on this blog promoting other people’s fundraising efforts – for charities, for project funding, for causes of all stripes. Today, I’d like to talk about my own cause: The American Cancer Society Relay For Life.

Relay for Life, Survivor Lap

Relay for Life, Survivor Lap

My Livejournal, September 7th, 2005, at 12:58 am:

I was diagnosed today with colon cancer. It is a small mass, localized (CT scans show no spread to the chest or the rest of the abdomen) and it is OPERABLE. (I typoed that in an email, so I need to get it right here!) I will be consulting with a surgeon on Thursday to see what form of surgery is best suited. My spirits are high and I am not worried. I am thankful that I let the camp nurse this summer convince me that my frequent exhaustion deserved a doctor’s attention … that one visit led to catching the anemia and now the early catch on this cancer.

I have been blessed with several strong role models these past few years in terms of dealing with cancer. I could cry and rail on about “why me, the family’s been through so much already,” but the truth is acting that way would go against the memory of my Mother and Denise Barnoski, who both kept their spirits up until the last minute. It would also go against the example shown me by Karen Lichtman (kij66), who has been fighting breast cancer.

Until I went trolling back through all the cancer posts on my livejournal in preparation for writing today’s post for my website, I’d honestly forgotten just how much calm I projected in the face of that news. I recall the doctor calling me and saying “It is what we thought it was, let’s schedule an appointment with a surgeon,” and then getting off the phone with my friend Karen Puccio, sharing the news with her, and saying “But I don’t think I ever actually knew what he thought it was.” Which led to another clarifying phone call, and confirmation that he’d discussed it with me after the colonoscopy, but I was still so under the influence of the anesthesia that I didn’t remember the conversation at all. When the realization really hit, I wasn’t anywhere near as calm or composed as that journal entry made out.

In Memory of my mother, Rosemary Cardno

In Memory of my mother, Rosemary Cardno

Almost seven years later, and so much has changed. My mother had died in February of 2005; my father followed her in 2007. Karen Jenkins (Lichtman) lost her fight with cancer about a year later. Other family members have fought, survived, succumbed. I’ve become friends with Jay Lake, who is still fighting the same cancer I had. My own cancer has, thankfully, not returned, but I feel cancer’s effects daily.

Every year but one since the summer of 2006, I’ve taken part in the American Cancer Society Relay For Life  at Mahopac High School. It’s a grand event, even when the weather wreaks havoc with the proceedings. The year that I missed the event due to work travel, the team I’m a part of was still there, and I did my walking in a state park somewhere in the Midwest, on my own.

Cousin, Crissy Hajkowski

Cousin, Crissy Hajkowski

This year, my team will not be at the Mahopac Relay. Our beloved and usually tireless team captains, my cousins Chrissy and Jimmy, have had a rough year and are just not up to the massive amount of prep work it takes to put our team on the site. No one else in the team has been able to step up and do what Chrissy and Jimmy do (the willingness is there, but the time is not). The same day I found out our team won’t have a spot at Relay I also found out about an 85th birthday celebration for a woman who has been like a grandmother to me for the past almost 20 years, and I’ve decided that everything happens for a reason – I am meant to be at Rosemary Pittman’s birthday party this year (no coincidence, I think, that she shares a first name with my mother. I think if they’d met, they’d have liked each other quite a lot.).  And so I was hesitant to ask people to donate money to an event I’m not actually going to be at.

But several trusted friends, when I asked, pointed out that the money is about the Cause, not the Event. Cancer doesn’t rest throughout the year. Cancer doesn’t care if we’re in Mahopac on June 2nd. So why should I rest, or care? While I’ll miss being a part of the Community that day, I will still do my best to support that community’s cause, which is so much my own. And just as RFL does, I’ll be celebrating life and birthdays, just in a different part of the state.

Cousin, Jimmy Hajkowski

Cousin, Jimmy Hajkowski

So here’s my plea, the same as it is every year: Please donate to my page. Whatever you can muster in these tight times: $1. $5. Every little bit helps fund someone’s cancer care, or some lab’s cancer research. Every dollar works towards helping someone celebrate a birthday they might not otherwise see.  As one of those people who is grateful for every birthday he gets to experience, I thank you in advance for your help. And in the words of my young friend Sam Lant – if you can’t afford a monetary contribution right now, please consider tweeting, posting, emailing, and sharing the link to my page. Maybe a friend of yours that I don’t know is in a position to help.

And hey, if you’re in or near Mahopac NY on June 2nd – go check out the event. Spend some money at the team tents. Get your face painted, buy some jewelry or a book, purchase a Luminaria in honor of a loved one who has battled cancer. Watch the fabulous Mahopac High School rock band ILLUSION perform. Be a part of a great day, and know that I am there in spirit, and am doing my Walking elsewhere in solidarity.

Thanks for reading this post, thanks for sharing it, and most of all, thanks for being not only my audience, but my friends. Life is fuller for knowing all of you.

Childhood friends Ruth & Peggy, tireless supporters of RFL

Childhood friends Ruth & Peggy, tireless supporters of RFL